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The Reunion

I wouldn't have expected it ten years ago, but I've found myself curious lately1 where my high school peers ended up and if I was the biggest loser among the class2, so I made one of my rare trips outside the house to attend the ten-year high school reunion.

Regrettably, my camera is currently in Chicago undergoing repairs, so I was unable to document the event with pictures. From what I saw of picture-taking, there likely won't be many pictures for posterity. That's unfortunate, but we can at least document the event in words, so here goes:

Men of the 2002 graduating class, we have gotten fat! Some of the women have too, of course, but not nearly in the staggering proportions of us men: by rough estimates, I would say 90% of us men have grown in girth, to maybe 50% of the women.

Well, at least we're well-fed.

Facial hair is surprisingly popular for the men. I was additionally surprised at how many people remarked on my beard; apparently people do not recall that I was much too lazy to shave in high school and generally had a beard back then as well.

I was quite pleased to see many of the women wearing comfortable shoes, rather than high-heels. Still, there was no shortage of women wearing shoes which essentially forced them to spend the evening on their tippy-toes. 8+-inch heels are crazy, ladies!

I felt about as short as I did in high school, though a number of people I remember being taller than I was are now much closer to eye level. Either I've gotten taller, or some of you have gotten shorter.

Facebook is not only the most popular method of keeping in touch, as far as I can tell it's the only method. There was not one "Hey, what's your e-mail?", not one "Hey, what's your phone number?", not one "Hey, what's your blog?", not even an "Are you on Google Plus?"—just "Are you on Facebook?".

No. No I am not.

A special note to their husbands: You bastards! You decimated the reunion hookup market!

Much to my surprise, a number of the ladies who were in my social circle are married and have kids now. Bucking both the trends of highly intelligent women waiting until mid-thirties to have children and of women failing to lose the baby fat, because they are lookin' fiiiiiiine. *ahem*

More people than I expected are still in town. I thought I was the only one! You'd think this town would be small enough I'd have run in to one of them at some point, but apparently not. (Though that may also be explained by my disinclination to leave the house.)

Many people are still in the midwest, even if not in Iowa. Omaha, Kansas City, South Dakota, and Chicago were all represented.

IT was well-represented as a professional group, though there's undoubtedly some bias towards it given my high-school peers. Lawyers were also quite well-represented.

Nobody advertised what they were paid, myself included, so I do not know how we all rank in terms of wealth, but I think I can safely surmise that those of us who showed up are doing okay. Not spectacular, but well enough.

On a more personal level (and boy I really hope I'm getting the names right, because I'm trying dagnabbit):

Amy A. said hi to me! Okay, that sounds a little weird when I say it like that, but we never hung out back then, and I may have had a crush on her at one point. She's a sexy lawyer now, which would have been nice to know a few weeks ago when negotiating the non-compete for my new job, but is nonetheless something to keep in mind for the future.

Chris K. still tells the best stories, which will serve him well in the criminal justice system.

Tori L. is a teacher now, and mad props to her for it. As someone who sometimes thinks about trying his hand at teaching, but knows he'd be terrible, I've got a lot of respect for those who can actually do it.

Congrats to Josh C. on surviving so many years of retail. You're a better man than me, my friend. Also congrats on getting out of it! :)

Sri, me and Laura both miss you and hope you're doing well.

A big congratulations to Lauren H. for sobering up during the past ten years. That kind of successful life change is truly inspirational.

Andrew W., whom I did not get a chance to talk to, was looking quite dapper. Way to show up the rest of us men and get more handsome, rather than more rotund, Andrew!

A big Ha ha, suckers! Congratulations! to those of you who have chosen to join the ranks of parenthood, as well as congrats to those of you who are now permanently off the dating market. There are more of you in both categories than I really expected, but I'm happy for you all the same.

If you weren't there, you were missed, and you should come next time! I didn't even get an invite and still managed to show up, so the rest of you have no excuse. :P

And, of course, a big thanks to Pete L. for arranging the whole affair. He got a 10+% turnout for our class, which I thought was pretty darn impressive, and could not have picked a nicer night for it. Hopefully next time I'll be included in the list of invitees. ;)

P.S.: If you're wondering what I've been up to, it amounts to "not much" punctuated by a few interesting excursions. Also, if you'd like my e-mail address, just ask Pete; he's got it.

  1. curious I found out about the reunion on Friday, because I googled for it. Fortuitous timing!
  2. loser Yes. Yes I am.
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